


To The Victors

by roebling



Series: B.A.P Shortfic [3]
Category: B.A.P, K-pop
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drabble Sequence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-22
Updated: 2012-12-22
Packaged: 2017-11-22 01:27:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/604302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roebling/pseuds/roebling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>6 drabbles about the boys and their awards.</p>
    </blockquote>





	To The Victors

**Author's Note:**

> 6 drabbles about the boys and their awards.

He should be better prepared this time, but --

"The Newcomer Award at the 4th Annual Melon Music Awards goes to ..." The presenter fumbles with the envelope. The din of the crowd reaches an apex. "... Ailee ..." Lights flash. Music blares. Junhong claps, blinking, blank, glad that Ailee sunbaenim won rather than … but the hyungs are standing up. Jongup grabs his arm. "Come on," he whispers. "Come on, Junhonggie."

They’ve won too. Again. Blindly, he follows Jongup to the stage. It's hot, under the stage lights, and crowd is just a dark blur. Junhong dreamed of this for a long time, but now that he's standing here now it doesn’t feel anything like his dream. The tag in the back of his stupid coat is scratching his neck. Yongguk hyung thanks their CEO and all the TS hyungs and noonas. Junhong doesn’t know how he even remembers their names. He listens to each of his hyungs say a few words, and then the mic is shoved in his sweaty hand. He blinks. Right. He needs to say something too.

"Thank you to my parents who have taken such good care of me ..." His throat is catching, and he swallows. The rest of the words won't come, but the tears do.

He ducks his head, and tries to stop crying. He's worked towards this for more than half of his life, and he still can't believe it's real, that he’s really standing on stage with his bandmates -- his best friends -- and not really back in his bed at the dorm. He’s terrified that any moment his alarm will go off and this will all smudge to black, as dreams do.

****

Manager hyung lets them know just before he drops them off at the dorm after a long celebratory dinner.

"Day off tomorrow, guys," he says.

Himchan hyung's eyes light up. "Really?"

"Really, kids. You guys deserve it."

Everyone is babbling as they head into the lobby and up the elevator. Youngjae wants to go see a movie. Himchan and Daehyun want to go to the mall. Junhong is going to the skate park, no matter what.

While the hyungs wash up, Jongup sits on the couch and listens to Junhong recount every single minute of the ceremony, as thought if he doesn't fix everything in his memory it's going to have never happened. When it's finally Jongup's turn for the bathroom, he stares at himself in the mirror for a minute.

Nope, no different. He's still Moon Jongup. As the makeup washes down the drain, the familiar mole on his nose reappears. 

He smiles.

Even though the alarm doesn't go off the next morning, Jongup wakes up at six. He's always been like this, waking just before his alarm sounds. All the other guys are sleeping. He gets out of bed and pads around the kitchen for a while, but by seven he's dead bored. He gets changed into practice clothes and puts on his sneakers and leaves a note for the guys on the table.

_Went to the practice studio - JU ^__^_

It’s nice to be in the studio without the others. He doesn't have to go over the moves time after time with Himchan or wait while the choreographer tries to explain how to Daehyun and Youngjae to move easily instead of stiffly. He doesn’t mind helping his hyungs, of course, but Jongup doesn't have to think about that stuff. Dancing is like like breathing for him.

He’s startled when the studio door opens. It's Yongguk hyung. He glances at the clock, startled again -- he’s been here for hours already.

"Hey Jonguppie. What're you doing here? You know you didn't need to come in today. We were supposed to kick back and celebrate.

"I know, hyung," Jongup says. "I wanted to." It’s always been about this for him: not about the fans or television shows, not even about awards, but just about the thrill of movement. 

Yongguk smiles. Jongup knows he understands.

****

There's confetti in his hair and he's too hot in the ugly furry coat the stylist made him wear, but Youngjae feels like he's walking on air. They won. They won! THEY WON!

He wishes they were on a rooftop so he could scream it out. Yongguk is beaming and Daehyun is laughing and Junhong is walking around in a kind of a daze. His chest aches like fireworks are going off in his heart.

"We did it," he says. "We did it!"

It's been the longest year of his entire life. He’s had to work harder than he ever thought he could. They've practiced until their muscles ached and they've sang until their throats were raw and they've stolen precious minutes of sleep in waiting rooms and on car rides. But Youngjae has the other guys to lean on -- he knows he couldn't have done it without them. And standing on the stage like this, with people cheering and a feeling of infinite possibility in his heart, Youngjae would have been willing to work twice as hard.

****

"It's such a shame you boys couldn't have had natural hair though."

"It's natural, Ma," Daehyun says. "It's just dyed. It's already growing out."

"Well," Daehyun's mom says. "I know, honey. And did they really have to put you in that terrible jacket? It made you look like you were wearing some mangy rug on your back."

"Ma, we just wear what they tell us."

"Right," she says, and she sighs.

Daehyun frowns.

"You were looking a little pale, too, darling. Are you sure you've ..."

"Ma!" Daehyun says, annoyed. "Enough about how we looked. You saw when we won the award, right?"

"Yes," she sighs. "Of course I saw, darling."

Daehyun grins. "I told you we'd win. I told you."

"I never doubted you would but ..."

"You did too doubt!" Daehyun says, not angry but teasing.

"I know, darling," she says. "We were just looking out for you. It's a rough, uncertain life, baby."

"I know it is, Ma. But we worked really hard and it’s paying off. Just like I said."

“Just like you said,” his mother says, a little sadly. “You’re a good boy, Daehyun. You’re all good boys.”

****

"Well," Himchan says. "It's not like we really won, did we?"

They're in Hong Kong for a few more hours, but they don't get to do anything fun. No after-parties with famous sunbaes and pretty models. No shopping or karaoke. Nothing but room service and pay-per-view movies in the hotel.

Yongguk looks up from his iPad. "Huh? Were you at some other award ceremony, Channie? Where were you when we walked up on stage?"

Himchan narrows his eyes. (He should be wearing his glasses, but at this point he’s used to just not being able to see. His sister teases him sometimes that the squint is going to become permanent). "I was there, Gukkie. What I mean is that we didn't win the rookie award, so they just made something up to give us so the fans weren't pissed."

Yongguk frowns. "I don't think that's it," he says.

Himchan raises an eyebrow. "Well, I do." And so what if they had won the Rookie award? He doesn't think that would have really meant anything anyway. He keeps a pretty close eye on their sales, and Rookie award or not he knows exactly what a long, long way they have until they reach the top. If they ever get there.

"Well," Yongguk says, "You can think what you want, but don't you dare say that to the kids, okay?"

“Hey!,” Himchan says, offended. “You know I wouldn’t.” He might be grumpy and cynical, and all too aware of how fleeting their fame -- any fame -- can be, but he’s not cruel. He’d seen how happy the kids were after their name was called. “You know I love those kids.”

****

The moment after their name is called is one of sensory deprivation. Yongguk must hear it -- because he stands up with the others -- but he can't hear anything or see anything else. There's just a blur of white and a thrill similar he remembers from his first time on stage, so long ago now.

They're bowing to the big sunbaes and Yongguk is trying to remember what he's supposed to say when they get up there. Youngjae is running ahead and Junhong's eyes look glassy and Jongup is grinning like he can barely believe what's happening. Yongguk bows low when they had him the trophy -- the weight of it (heavier than he'd thought) is solid and wonderful, anchoring him right into this moment. He takes the microphone they offer him.

He closes his eyes, and he could begin now, thanking the company and the Secret noonas and their families. He knows exactly what he's supposed to say. But he feels a little tightness in his throat so he stops for just a second and looks at the kids: Himchan grinning and pleased in spite of himself, Youngjae and Daehyun wide-eyed and laughing with each other. Jongup at ease, as only he can be. And finally his Junhonggie, who's worked harder and wanted this more than any of them.

"I want to say thank you first," Yongguk says, "to my members. They've all worked so hard, and I only wish I could find words to explain how proud I am of them. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't be here right now with you."

There’s more after that, when he remembers that night, what he mostly remembers are his members’ faces and all the emotions he saw written there: shock, pleasure, glee, validation, confusion. And much later, when things are very different and they have many more memories together -- good and bad -- he still thinks back to that night in Hong Kong and feels filled with pride and love.


End file.
